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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, using a french fry and an onion ring to simulate how I wanted the rest of the evening to go wasn't the most romantic move ever."

"""You're the Garbage Man, eh? What's your super power?"" ""I'm just here to take out the trash."" ""Whoa, we'll get to your catch phrase later."""

"Folks I'm seeing Trainwreck tomorrow night. Then after the GOP debate, I might go to the new Amy Schumer movie! Yeah, I went there"

"Guy hears his grand kids are coming for the first time. He gets all the parts and gear, spent six hours child-proofing his home. They still got in."

"A joke from Finland Q: What doesn't fit in your butt, and doesn't buzz? A: A Russian butt buzzer."

"Remember alcohol is NEVER the answer. ""Why can't I get it up?"" Okay, sometimes alcohol is the answer."

"Honestly sometimes I STILL think about how dope it is that I don't have any homework."

"What is the difference between a boat and a woman? The boat cuts through the water, a woman waters through the cut."

"What's honey mustards least favorite holiday? Cinco de Mayo"

"What is the cheapest cut of meat on a deer? The balls, cause they're under a buck."