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Joke of the Day

"I've been getting bullied... and I've been thinking about suicide. I would simply just drink BULLEACH."

"Rabbis Don't get paid for circumcisions. But they get to keep the tips."

"Today I just turned 17! That makes me over 3.55 x 10^14 years old."

"Christiano Ronaldo races with himself. Who won? No one. They both came second."

"A husband and wife talk about the weather... She's too wet and he says it's coming down hard."

"What did the visually-challenged gentleman say as he walked past the tuna stand at the open air market on a hot summer's day? Hello ladies. Warm enough for you?"

"This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, ""Would you please press 1?"" So I did. I don't remember much afterwards."

"I tried to catch some fog... but i mist."

"ME: I hate him with 1/16th of the fibers of my being GUY: Not every fiber? ME: I hate alot of people. I'm not wasting all my fibers on 1 guy"

"I decided to have a can of soup for lunch today... ...And hating to see good food go to waste, I decided to have the soup as well."