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Joke of the Day

"This morning, I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, ""Would you please press 1?"" So I did. I don't remember much afterwards."

"I have a stepladder I never knew my real ladder"

"My air conditioner broke. I've been breathing unconditioned air for the last 14 hours. This is how super villains are born."

"I wonder who I'll be racist against when I'm elderly. I hope it's robots!!"

"If Superman were a realtor, he could describe literally any apartment in the world as 'a stone's throw from the beach'."

"Why are girls so hot? because they lay out in the sun so much lol :P"

"I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger, but she did move to California in 1849."

"You'd think by now the Food Network would have late night adult shows with roast beef, cream pies and salad tossing."

"I understand why abortion is a touchy subject (NSFW) Because on one hand I'm all for killing babies but I really don't think women should have a choice in the matter"

"Mean Insults, Good Comebacks, Insulting Quotes - Itchyflight.com http://www.itchyflight.com/mean-insults-and-comebacks-good.html"