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Joke of the Day

"Instead of pulling people over for texting, the police should be out there pulling people over for not texting me back."

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"Best thing about drinking in downtown LA is that if u need a bathroom, it's all around you"
"I've been tweeting for 10 hours straight...and 3 hours gay."
"What's brown and sounds like a bell? DUNG"
"What's the difference between jelly and jam I can't jelly my dick down your throat"
"Note to self: don't set your password reminder as ""you should know this"""
"Build-A-Bear won't let you stuff your animal with asbestos or bees so what's the point"
"Give a man a jacket, and he'll be warm for a week. Teach a man to jacket, and he'll stay inside for months."
"Apparently I have a few ""tells"" when I'm angry. But I light things on fire when I'm happy too so don't pretend you know me."
"What is the first question you ask a baby cow, after its gotten over an illness? How are you vealing?"
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