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Joke of the Day

"eer booze and fun!' '""Didja hear the news?"" asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon. ""Harrigan drank so much his wife left him!"" ""Bartender! Give me six boilermakers!!"""

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roamin' catholic"

"My girlfriend texted me ""helpmyspacebarbrokecanyoucomeoverandgivemeanalternative"" Anybody know what ""ternative"" means?"

"I tripped over some shrooms the other day...Because I didn't see them. It was dark and I was high."

"We woke up to a noise. I grabbed a bat. He grabs a can of body spray. ""Really? Gunna make this burglar irresistible to women huh?"""

"When life hands you lemons, help me throw them at the kids on my lawn."

"What's the difference between a toilet and a graveyard? Nothing. When you have to go, you have to go."

"Why did r/TwoXChromosomes flood? The dyke broke."

"[heaven] IAN: I only regret the things I didn't do ME: Me too I: Like, I didn't swim with dolphins. You? M: I didn't stop poking a bear"

"How do you see that a linedancer came from Belgium and not from the Netherlands? He wears the cardboard box on his boots."