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Joke of the Day

"what did the old man say before he kicked the bucket? old man ""how far do you think i can kick this bucket""."

"What is Jose Cuervo's favorite book? Tequila Mockingbird."

"What is the Hamburglar's favorite David Bowie song? Rebel Rebel!"

"At my mom's house. Just asked if we could record Dateline and she said she doesn't have a blank VHS tape and now my left arm is numb."

"things I'm passionate about: The Rule of Threes, self referential humor, and the Oxford comma."

"what do you call a gay dinosaur? megasoreass"

"A little boy skips school... Grandpa: ""Go hide, your teacher is here because you skipped school today!!"" Little Boy: ""No you go hide because I told her you were dead!"""

"It's strange isn't it, you stand in a library and go ""Aaaaaargh"" and everyone stares at you. Do the same thing on an aeroplane and everyone joins in."

"If you don't like my opinion of you improve yourself!"

"I just want to be wealthy enough to fill a swimming pool with puppies. A lot of puppies are going to die but I think it will be worth it"