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Joke of the Day

"Two spiders are at another spiders funeral. ""Peter was the most gentle spider I ever knew. He wouldn't hurt a fly."" ""Yeah, that's true. Do you know what he died from?"" ""Starvation."""

Next Joke
 
"Trying to act like I tripped on purpose has become something of a full time job."
"(Interview) Says here on your resume that you're unpredictable. (I take a squirrel out of my pants dressed as Batman) ""That's a rumor""."
"What do you get when you cross a Centaur with a Minotaur? Cinnaminotaur. The most delicious of all mythological creatures."
"Might wake up early and go for a jog. Might also win the lottery... odds are about the same."
"""But mom! I don't like grandma."" ""Keep quiet, son, and finish your plate."""
"What is the definition of trust? Gay cannibals"
"What sound does a subatomic Cow make? Muuuuuuon"
"Me: Time travel Interviewer: what's your biggest stren- holy shit"
"What do you call 100 blacks buried up to their necks? Afroturf."