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Joke of the Day

"Never let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. Take Beethoven for example, they told him he could not be a musician because he was deaf ... but he didn't listen."

"Why can't the T-rex do any push ups? Small arms? No it's because dinosaurs are extinct you dumbass."

"My girlfriend's best friend had her arm stuck in the dirt this morning She asked me how to get her hand out quickly. I told her, ""Dig south for her arm, bae."""

"I would tell you a pizza joke... ...but it's too cheesy."

"Why did the Band Geek ask the Football star for tips? Because he's a waiter. (lol)"

"What do you get when you cross worms with elephants? Big holes in your garden"

"You know you're old when you get a ""You up?"" text.... And it's 8:25 p.m."

"Why did the blonde have a sore belly-button? Because she had a blond boyfriend."

"A quick way to get your kids to leave you alone is to say, ""I need to make your dentist appointment."""

"A new drug has just been developed for lesbians with depression. It's called trycoxagain."