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Joke of the Day

"[team dumps Gatorade on head coach after victory but head coach just happens to be the Wicked Witch of the West] COACH: you idiots *melts*"

"Somewhere in Russia, a little kid farted a half beat before the meteor blew out all the windows. It was the greatest moment of his life."

"How do you keep a idiot waiting? I'll tell you guys later."

"I love Mondays... It's when I take my weekly sarcasm class."

"Why did Ellen Pao cross the road? [deleted]"

"Lady, you misunderstood. When I asked if you would have my kids I didn't mean sex and babies. I meant take the ones I already have."

"My super buff friend told me he never uses any fitness supplements... I didn't believe him and said ""no whey?"""

"What's the hardest thing about scout camp? No, not your scout master's dick, but choosing what to wear in his tent."

"There are 25 different kinds of Lunchables and they all taste like a single parent home."

"How do you fit 4 gay men on one bar stool? Turn it upside down."