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Joke of the Day

"How you turn a washer into a snow blower? Hand her a shovel"

"Why didn't British explorers dig latrines? They had pith helmets."

"Once I've repeated what I said for the third time, I have to tell my dark family secret: I come from a long line of mumblers."

"Why did the squirrel swim on his back? To keep his nuts dry!"

"#1: My personality is 30% the last movie I watched."

"Convince neighbours you're shrinking by walking past their window with progressively larger jars of hellmann's mayonnaise."

"Why do Jewish girls love circumcised dicks? They love anything 10% off"

"We get it, Charmin. Bears love to shit."

"If you have a choice between ugly or fat, remember this. You can turn the lights out on ugly, but you can always feel the fat in the dark."

"Me and the other guys from the circus.... ... took a night off to see some stand-up comedy but he was really mean and cutting. He went straight for the juggler."