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Joke of the Day

"Life milestone: when your iPhone stops autocorrecting ""fuck"" to ""duck."""

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"What type of animals are put on envelopes? Seals."
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"What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery driver have in common? It's okay to smell it, but if you eat it you're gonna get fired."
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"One time in 1997 I forgot to close my air quotes so everything I've said since then has been sarcastic"
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"Oops! I left the curtains open. Now my neighbors know what my junk looks like pressed up against the window with a flashlight aimed at it."
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