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Joke of the Day

"I have a confession to make... ""I want to get back with my ex""...LOL Just Kidding...""I'd rather sh!t in my hands and clap !"".."

"What do dyslexic zombies eat? BRIANS!! Everyone else is safe"

"Do you know what is laziness? Laziness is the art of taking rest before getting tired. lol"

"What do you call it when a flight attendant gets pregnant? Pilot error."

"Don't you just hate it when you meet a hot girl, you look her up on Facebook and find there are fucking 150 + mutual friends and nobody told you about her. Thanks a lot assholes."

"My GF was brutal when we moved. Told me anything not used in the past 6 months had to go... I just looked down and gave my condolences"

"I accidentally said ""pastryarchy"" instead of ""patriarchy"" and now I have a vision for a better world"

"If the USSR were to become a country again... ...would it be called the Soviet Reunion?"

"my interventions would be so much more effective if every single reason i drink wasn't there"

"I wanted to have a threesome.. ..but then I came to the realization, if I wanted to disappoint two people I'd just have dinner with my parents."