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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when a flight attendant gets pregnant? Pilot error."

"How to cats greet each other at Christmas ? ""A furry merry Christmas & Happy mew year"" !"

"Chuck Norris got in touch with his feminine side, and promptly got her pregnant."

"[slashing food truck tires] friend: wtf are you doing?! [running away with arms filled with tacos] YOU COMIN OR NOT?!"

"A man's got to know his limitations. Unless he's in a relationship, then he'll be constantly reminded."

"I opened my water and electric bills simultaneously... Needless to say, I was shocked."

"Ian: ""I'd like to report my guide dog missing."" Cop: ""Right. When did you last see him?"" Ian: ""I've never seen him."""

"I was walking through an arts and crafts shop when I saw a sign saying, ""Glue Sticks."" I thought, ""No shit..."""

"Two angels run out of weed... One angel is very upset but the other consoles him. ""fear not,"" he says and points at Jesus. ""for he has resin."""

"Kim on FB needs help deciding if the snot in her kid's nose is from allergies or not. His Dr. says yes, but she really needs your opinion."