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Joke of the Day

"I spend 60%of my day worrying that I might have mustard on my face or clothing. The other 40% I am eating mustard."

Next Joke
 
"My 4-year-old is playing doctor with her baby dolls. She walked by a minute ago holding just a leg. Surgery didn't go well."
"Stalk your awful ex on Twitter, Troll oll oll oll oll oll oll oll oll. 'Tis the season to be bitter. Troll oll oll oll oll oll oll oll oll."
"What are the two things someone with a face tattoo never hears? ""You're hired"" ""Not guilty"""
"If you're forcing me to choose between you and my dream of making a sequel to the 1982 horror classic then you've got another Thing coming."
"English is weird... but it can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Yeah you red it rite."
"I cracked two jokes earlier about Malaysian Airways. The first got no response and the second crashed and burned."
"What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt, shithead."
"Why does a dentist seem moody? Because he always looks down in the mouth."
"Why did the stripper need more insurance? She had little to no coverage."
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