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Joke of the Day

"Strangers are friends you haven't met yet. Friends are lovers you haven't kissed yet. Lovers are corpses you haven't killed yet."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? a rip off."

"What do wives and shingles have in common? if you don't nail them right, they'll end up at your neighbor's."

"I stepped on an almond. When I looked down to see what it was I thought 'Awe damn. I busted a nut.'"

"MOVE CHEESE!! Get out of the whey!! Credit to some youtuber."

"Roses are flowers, violets are flowers, I'd love you more if you had super powers."

"What did the psychiatrist say to the crazy naked guy wrapped in cellophane? Clearly, I can see your nuts."

"What do you call an empty jar of Cheese Whiz? Cheese was."

"'maybe the world wasn't ready for pizza perfume' i thought to myself as i hid in a dumpster, watching the townspeople try to eat each other"

"Dorothy: We have to see the wonderful Wizard of Oz Toto: OK but I wouldn't make a song and dance about it Dorothy: [inhaling] Toto: FFS"