50503

Joke of the Day

"I stepped on an almond. When I looked down to see what it was I thought 'Awe damn. I busted a nut.'"

"When someone asks me if I'm seeing anyone, I automatically assume they're talking about a psychiatrist."

"Not being able to read because your book ran out of batteries is a pretty hilarious first-world problem."

"I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time."

"I like my coffee like I like my women.. Without a penis"

"[ouija board] How are you feeling? *board begins spelling* O-O-E-Y--G-O-O-E-Y What the!? A cheesy board!? G-O-U-D-A--G-U-E-S-S"

"What do jedhi's and rape have in common? ... They both use the force"

"If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconuts, then why can't he fix my marriage"

"There's a band called 1023MB They haven't had any Gigs yet..."

"if a pea-brain is someone with a small brain, then a peacock is someone with a ...? no?"