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Joke of the Day

"Dorothy: We have to see the wonderful Wizard of Oz Toto: OK but I wouldn't make a song and dance about it Dorothy: [inhaling] Toto: FFS"

"Now that I'm an overweight, nearly middle aged man, I'm considering bulimia more and more But I don't have the stomach for it."

"Wait, Australia is 14 hours ahead of America? Thanks for the 9/11 warning!"

"Me: What are your plans for tonight? 13: Think I'll hang out with you and mom. Me: Goddammit...uh I mean that's great."

"Life is so unfair. Why does eating make you fat? Killing people should make you fat. Being an asshole should make you fat. GOD WHY EATING??"

"[speaking to a guy who looks nothing like Ed Sheeran] ""Hey man, do people ever say you look like Ed Sheeran?"" ""No"" ""Didn't think so"""

"What's the difference between a fly and a bird? A bird can fly but a fly can't bird."

"Dubstep joke Knock knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Bob bubububu Bob Bob WuuuuOOOOWWWubwubwubwub edit: formatting"

"There are 2 types of people in this world Those with the ability to extrapolate information from incomplete data"

"Why did the chicken cross OP's mother? ."