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Joke of the Day

"North Korea launched ICBM today Good news for them, it managed to make it out of Pyongyang this time"

"Earth asks Mars... ""Why has Venus been so distant lately?"" Mars answers ""shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"""

"Guy walks into a bar and says ""Give me a 'bad hombre'"" The bartender fills the glass with liquor, lights it on fire and throws it in his face."

"I raised an eyebrow once. He's an adult now, and he never calls or visits."

"Just got a job working in a full size cuckoo clock. It's not great, but it gets me out the house."

"What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect ? The Masked-quito !"

"What is the wettest animal in the world? A Rain Deer."

"there is literally nothing i care enough about to go on a hunger strike"

"They say ""You are what you eat"" so I guess we should eat skinny people."

"""My god,"" I whisper as the food arrives. ""Just as the prophecy foretold."""