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Joke of the Day

"Earth asks Mars... ""Why has Venus been so distant lately?"" Mars answers ""shes been under a lot of pressure and has really bad gas"""

"If I ever met the Dalai Lama, I would ask him a question that has plagued me my entire life. ""What color do Smurfs turn if you choke them?"""

"A man walks into a bar... ""A man walks into a bar and the bartender says""... ...""Stop speaking in third person Jaqen"""

"Where am I? I don't know where I am, but there's a huge nuke in front of me, obviously supposed to be secret. I'm terrified. I ran."

"Gone are the days when I could just jump in the pool fully clothed without thinking twice. Thanks a lot, Steve Jobs."

"I'm not schizophrenic, but he is (points at nothing)"

"A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle . Always wet but nothing to ride"

"What's the difference between a Fig and a Fig Newton? A Fig Newton is Force sensitive."

"My roommates are concerned that I'm using all their kitchen utensils.. but that's a whisk i'm willing to take."

"What do you call a Jewish Pokemon trainer in World War 2? A: Ash"