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Joke of the Day
"What did the redneck get on his SATs? Barbecue sauce."
Next Joke
"How to be Productive: 1.) Make a list 2.) Cross off the first thing on your list 3.) Reward yourself with a nap"
"I can't feel my face when I'm with you, but I love it. Doctor: This is your third Botox appointment. That wasn't even funny the first time."
"ME: [in santa costume, covered in chimney soot] that was hard. how does santa do it WIFE: well santas not real, hun ME: [drops cookie] WHAT"
"Four more years is a great thing to shout at a president running for reelection... But not so good to shout at a 14 year old girl."
"It's such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV."
"What's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth Hurty!"
"Those who dont discriminate sexually are called bisexuals"
"What's the worst part about Necrophilia? The awkward silence."
"It's OK people with a poor grasp of the English language, I'm a sex attic too."