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Joke of the Day
"Well I guess it's time we change Philip Seymour Hoffman's name to Philip Seeyanomour Hoffman!"
Next Joke
"breakfast in bed? babe I thought you said brofest in bed. *gestures at chad and brad to leave* *whispers* we can still play frisbee later."
"Waiter: ""I'm afraid your credit card has been declined."" Me: ""Try this one."" W: ""This is a blood donor card."" M: ""Take as much as you need."""
"Dolce and Gabbana are to be jailed for tax evasion. Looks like someone finally called the fashion police."
"My girlfriend told me to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter. Well, I've got some news for her."
"If a pun is the lowest form of humor... Does that make a bun the lowest form of bread?"
"I was recently asked about my views on euthanasia. I said they all look the same to me."
"How does a butcher introduce his wife? Meat Patty"
"A cop was outside my house talking to some people and my first thought was ""yesss"" because I'm nosey."
"A skeleton walks in to a bar... The bartender says, ""What'll it be, mister?"" The skeleton says, ""A beer and a mop, please!"""