93718

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between hazelnuts and deernuts? Hazelnuts are normally around $1.50/lb, deernuts are always under a buck."

"After seeing some of the names on kids these days, you wonder if their parents were going all in for the Triple Word Score."

"Ordered ribs so I'd have to put my phone down. Discovered new talent. Pinky scroll"

"God damn it Adolf... I told you to pass me the juice not gas the jews!"

"What do you call a mentally disabled firefighter? Flame retardant"

"So Kim Kardashian's arse is huge and has a lot of oil I wonder if America will invade it? Oh wait, my bad, half of America already has"

"Today I discovered that two wrongs definitely don't make a right. Tomorrow I'm going to try three."

"Why was the legless man immortal? Because he couldn't kick the bucket."

"If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror-movie. After a while it won't feel like you are alone anymore."

"""If two wrongs don't make a right, what do two rights make?"" An Airplane"