93591

Joke of the Day

"I hope my memory foam mattress doesn't remember the man in my bed last night and tell my boyfriend."

Next Joke
 
"I used to think I was schizophrenic. But then the voices in my head said I was fine."
"""Is this your resume?"" Yes ""It just says you used to leave shit at your friends' doors, ring the bell & run away?"" Yes ""Welcome to UPS!"""
"There's one nice thing about getting Alzheimers I'm making new friends every day!"
"My girlfriend is: - super sweet - light as a feather - pink - melts in my mouth when I eat her - always at a circus - possibly cotton candy"
"What do plums and bunnies have in common? They're both purple, except bunnies...bunnies aren't purple :/"
"Why is Christopher Walken so tired? Because at night, he's always sleepwalken"
"What did Clinton say when accused of copying his homework from his girlfriend at Oxford? I did not have textual relations with that woman."
"Do you know why a bicycle can't stand alone? It's two tired."
"What fish sounds like a telephone? Herring herring...herring herring...herring herring."
Terms & Privacy