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Joke of the Day

"Question: What did the Cabbage say to the cab driver when he passed his stop? Answer: ""STOP THE CAB-BAGE"" Ps - The joke is to say it out loud and figure out what you are actually saying."

"Which of the following lines will do a better job of frightening a man away? 1) Get away or I'll call the police!!! 2) I love you and want to marry you and have your children."

"Whats the difference between an anal thermometer and an oral thermometer? the taste!"

"I've opened a gym called Resolutions. It has exercise equipment for the first 2 weeks of each year, then becomes a bar for the remaining 50."

"32nd rule of Fight Club is no peanut products are allowed at Fight Club"

"Want to hear a good Nirvana joke? Nevermind."

"My girlfriend just told me she might be pregnant I told her to cut it out"

"What's the difference between snow men and snow women? Snow balls."

"Please, keep trying unsuccessfully to suck the snot back up in your nose instead of using a tissue. Everyone loves the noise you're making."

"Just got back from a once in a lifetime holiday, never again!"