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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a nut? What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts What do you call nuts on your chin? My dick in your mouth"

"How do you get Lady Gaga attention? P-p-p-poke her face."

"Ninjas are like virgins.... No one ever sees them coming"

"Pro tip for picking up girls - keep your back straight and lift with your knees."

"Pirates used to wear eye patches because they had hooks for hands"

"Teacher: You've been e-mailing other pupils that I'm ugly! Pupil: Sorry miss I didn't realise you wanted to keep it a secret."

"JOSEPH: who did you name me after? ME: you were named after my grandfather GREGGNOG: what about me dad?"

"I feel like a text is too serious without an ""lol"" or ""haha"" in there somewhere."

"The flower had an unexpected pregnancy... So it went to Plant Parenthood."

"*gives you dictionary for your birthday* wow.. i don't know what to say ""that's why i bought it for you"""