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Joke of the Day

"The Duke ordered his subjects not to dig tunnels beneath his land but the King gave them permission to do so, He felt undermined."

"Two rabbits were 69ing. One says to the other, ""hang on, I've got a hare in my mouth."""

"Paula Deen should create her own brand of butter called I Can't Believe It's Not 1860."

"I picked my nose in traffic today. Secretly hoping a tweeter who had run out of joke material saw me. You've gotta give to get, people."

"Commercial for elbows: A frustrated man steers his car with totally straight arms. ""Why did I go with the cheap arms?!"" Narrator: ""Elbows"""

"When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back."

"You're so dumb.. That if you fell into a pool full of titties, you would come out sucking your thumb."

"My girlfriend just emailed me a photo of us on our first date together. It's a very treasured memory for me. Problem is, the file wont open on my computer. I guess I have emotional attachment issues."

"New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual."

"I'm not saying delivering a baby is easy, but I'm pretty sure all I need is a box, some tape, and a stamp."