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Joke of the Day

"When a woman says ""fine"" what she really means is ""I'm going to say things are fine but they really aren't and I will later throw it back in your face."

"I like my women like I like my coffee Stuffed into a bag. Slung over the side of a mule. And brought to me by Juan Valdez."

"Becky on Facebook is having a bad hair day and wonders if anything will ever go right. Be strong Becky, be strong. Also shut up."

"[job interview] ""You wrote here your biggest weakness is not knowing what irony means."" ""Ironic isn't it? Is it? I don't know."""

"What did the nihilist wish for on his birthday?"

"What the best way to cut down a tree? A Suhhh Dude"

"Ultimate confusion What is the ultimate confusion? Two gay guys in a hottub full of sausages."

"What's an emo's favorite game? Russian roulette, except with a full chamber."

"[courtroom] Timothy: I was not involved Victor: Nor was I Lawyer: You could say it was a Vic-, Tim-less cri- Judge: You're all going to jail"

"Teaching your kids to question everything is important. Until you're sitting there banging your head on the table."