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Joke of the Day

"I like my coffee like my slaves... Free!"

"Christmas these days is a lot like having sex the build up is great but when it finally comes, I regret spending all that money."

"How's college supposed to prepare you for the real world? All it does is make you tired and stressed out and anxious and nevermind I get it."

"What do Storm Troopers and Bone Thugs N Harmony have in common? They are both going to miss every body."

"Kids, I can't tell you how much I enjoy sweating for an hr in the kitchen each day, just to see your little ""what the fuck is this"" faces"

"So a guy sexually lays on top n' stuff on many rolling pins and does a good job. He's on a roll!"

"Not only is my new thesaurus terrible, But it's also terrible."

"An airplane killed a jogger while making an emergency landing on a South Carolina beach. Which is why I don't jog."

"Printing... Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing."

"Sure, he's got his faults, like -- he's a necromancer, and a hoarder... ... but doesn't everybody have a few skeletons in their closet?"