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Joke of the Day

"Christmas these days is a lot like having sex the build up is great but when it finally comes, I regret spending all that money."

"I was about to commit suicide, but then a Nicki Minaj song came on the radio -- so I committed suicide twice."

"I'm at the doctor's office & they don't know why I have this rash on my balls. Guess I'll wait for the Dr, these other patients are clueless."

"I need another name for a dinosaur. I should consult the Thesaurus."

"I was walking across the park... ...when I noticed a ball in the air getting bigger. ""That's odd"", I thought, ""how is it doing that?"" Then it hit me..."

"I was asked to babysit once but it didn't go very well. You're not meant to sit on them."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter? Aye, ye think it be ""R"", but it be the ""C!"""

"What's the difference between a tropical beach and a priest? One gets sun on your skin and the other gets skin on your son."

"I told the insect I knew he used to be part of an elite military unit he was exuberant"

"I like my women like I like my wine Eight years old and locked up in a cellar"