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Joke of the Day

"Did to hear about the guy who pretended to wash his hair with excrement? It was actually sham-poo. *thunderous applause*"

"How do you get Dick from Richard? You ask him nicely."

"I call my Asian friend Spongebob Because he's yellow and can't drive"

"Walk into karate dojo. Bow. Assume made up karate stance. Taser the first guy who runs at you. Bow. Exit karate dojo"

"Why can't Helen Keller drive? ...Because she's dead."

"Why did the NSA spy on Germany ? Because after meeting with Merkel, they heard Obama say ""I'd tap that""."

"Russian history in five words ...and then it got worse"

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van."

"Why does bread not have eyebrows? Because it's bread."

"What is the difference between Santa Claus and the Jews? The Jews go up the chimney."