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Joke of the Day

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van."

"What's the difference between a feminist and a doormat? You might try and knock some mud off on the sidewalk before you step on the doormat."

"I was going to tell a dull pencil joke but it's pointless"

"Titanic, but with literally thousands of cats."

"Mom: Want to come over for dinner? Me: No thanks, already ate Mom: What did you have? Me: Peanut butter Mom: With? Me: Spoon"

"(.)(.) + $$ = ( . )( . )"

"If another day goes by without a Matthew, Mark, Luke and John forming a boyband called New Testament, I'm going to give up on everything."

"What's for dinner Dad? *Wookie steak.* Is it any good? *A little Chewy*"

"If a malevolent demon is watching you sleep, simply go to Settings > General > Privacy > Malevolent Demon Who Watches You Sleep (Deactivate)"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? Zero"