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Joke of the Day

"Walk into karate dojo. Bow. Assume made up karate stance. Taser the first guy who runs at you. Bow. Exit karate dojo"

"What was the first treacherous thing said? Adam you gotta try this!"

"People who like being photographed in natural light.. ..should be taken outside and shot."

"So I went around to a friends house... And on his mantle was a bronze statue of an animal butt. When I asked him about it he said it was a catastrophe."

"I bought these shoes from a drug dealer I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."

"Chicken salad with egg in it is my fave way to eat two generations."

"[Comes home and wife is laying in bed with Another Man] ""Hey"" Hi ""Can I ask you something?"" Yup ""Why'd you name the dog 'Another Man' babe?"""

"What do you call a psychic dwarf running from the law? A small medium at large"

"What do you call a statue of a ballsack? A scrotum totem"

"What do a bucket and a woman have in common? Before 1928, neither could vote."