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Joke of the Day

"Why did Harry Potter buy so many golden snitches? Because they were only a quideach"

"The plural of ""person on Segway"" is ""losers."""

"Before cell phones and texting, I used to get pulled over a lot for playing solitaire with a physical deck of cards while I was driving"

"Me: Thanks for the sex. Me: You're welcome. Me: Maybe next time we can have another person in the room. Me: That'd be nice."

"Why do engineers confuse Christmas and Halloween? Because OCT 31= DEC 25"

"When Luke(Skywalker) fell in love with (Princess) Leia, you could say... he was looking for love in Alderaan places!"

"Show me on this Russian nesting doll where the bad man hid many more, smaller versions of you"

"The cable guy said he'd be here sometime between 1:00 and April, 2016."

"Why is American Airlines the best airlines company? Because they are the only one to drop you directly to your office."

"What do you call a turtle without its shell? Dead."