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Joke of the Day

"When Luke(Skywalker) fell in love with (Princess) Leia, you could say... he was looking for love in Alderaan places!"

"How does Moses make his coffee? He-brews it"

"What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money."

"Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers? Because only Siths deal in absolutes."

"It's just an alarm clock Really, it is. http://imgur.com/tdZrIAB"

"Fact: If you sneak away to fart loudly in private and get caught by some innocent person walking by, you have to now hate that person."

"Me: Wow, you're glowing. Her: Aaaaww, thank you! Me: No, like radioactive... Her: . . . Me: Tone down the filters?"

"So my sister is pregnant with her first child. I'm so happy to finally be a father!"

"I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"I wonder how long it took Lincoln to decide that just saying ""87 years"" wasn't nearly hip enough."