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Joke of the Day

"Two deer walk out of a bar. One turns to the other in disgust and says, ""I can't believe you blew 20 bucks in there."""

"On your first day in jail, when they ask you what you're in there for, say ""the food"" so all the other prisoners know you're a loose cannon."

"What do you call Bigfoot when he has an attitude? A sass-squatch."

"I've always wanted to get in an accident with someone who has the same exact car as me. MY NECK HURTS! WHO GIVES A FUCK THIS IS COOL!"

"If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you."

"Q: How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern? A: With a pumpkin patch."

"Professor X walks into a bar >:)"

"How do trees browse the internet? They log in."

"How do the Kardashians change a broken light bulb They buy a new house"

"What's the difference between a girl that's praying and a girl that's having a bubble bath? One has hope in her soul, The other has soap in her hole."