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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst way to convince an officer who's pulled you over not to ticket you? ""You can have my beer if you let me go."""

Next Joke
 
"Ey gurl, is your name Andromeda? Because you got a heavenly body! It's 5:50AM and I still can't sleep."
"Man plus woman Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage"
"What do ISIS/ISIL members use to clean their dirty vaginas? ...me!"
"[at the gym] PERSONAL TRAINER: have you exercised at all in the past? *flashbacks to holding my gut in for the past ten years* ME: totes"
"Did you hear the theme song for new Lego Blade Runner? Everyone's a replicant!!! Everything is cool when nobody's real!"
"A man drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how a Mercedes bends"
"Original (Dad's) pun: Sticks float. They would."
"What is an Hommish woman's fantasy? Two Mennonite"
"Oh you have morals? You must be new here."