196074

Joke of the Day

"So many weirdos, so little internet."

"What did the gamer say to the fleeing prisoner? Run! escape!"

"When I was born I was given the choice between a big dick or a good memory. I don't remember what I chose."

"JUDGE: so u plan to plead insanity? ME: let me double-check with my counsel *moves 2 ft over, puts on tie, nods* ME: thats correct ur honor"

"I was reading a book on antigravity. I couldn't put it down."

"I hate it when people think I'm staring when really I'm trying to kill them with my mind."

"No matter how white-hot my rage feels, I have been unable to clear the snow off my driveway by giving it the finger."

"I am so proud to be part of a society that needs television commercials to remind us not to lock our kids in hot cars."

"When an avocado and a duck mate, what sound does the offspring make? Guac!"

"Why did the geneticist get into advertising? Sex Cells"