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Joke of the Day

"it's very distracting hearing your girlfriend being mauled by a tiger as you try to read ""big cat owners monthly""."

"I was shocked to walk in on my son playing with his privates... Those toy soldiers were supposed to be his surprise birthday gift..."

"What's even more impressive than a talking dog ? A spelling bee!"

"Students, unfollow me now. Tonight's drunk subtweets might sting a little. Especially you Britney. Your lab report was a pile of dog shit."

"This jokes so dark, it's not welcome in South Carolina He:Babe Come Over She:i'm Playing Arkham Knight He: My Parents arent's home She:neither Are Batmans"

"Why doesn't the United States have to worry about a North Korean nuclear missile attack? we have the Iron Giant"

"I'm still in a state of total shock I mean the Cubs won the World Series"

"5 Brazilian dollars sounds like a lot of money... However, with the current exchange rate its only about $1.35 USD"

"CASHIER: what, no tip? ME: here's a tip: always wear a seat belt CASHIER: no, i meant money ME: oh sorry. invest in a 401(k)"

"Jus made the jerk off motion at a baby because his mom is using coupons."