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Joke of the Day
"I couldn't afford a vanity license plate, so I named my dog 956 XDM."
Next Joke
"""Sorry, but none of my clothes fit today."" My date nods, and politely avoids looking at my towel and safety pins."
"I heard Missouri is having some great Black Friday sales this year... 100% off everything."
"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff... Ba-dum-tss."
"The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain."
"The worst part about blind dates is trying to find a restaurant with menus in braille."
"I just burned my fingers in boiling oil and screamed ""OOH OOH AHH AHH"" like a monkey it was a chip pan,see"
"What's the difference between a muffin and a jew? a muffin doesn't scream when you put it in an oven."
"What do you put in an actor's drink... [OC] to raise the level of anticipation at the Oscars? [Expectorant](/spoiler)"
"NAZI: I'm a Nazi MEDIA: How controversial NAZI: I said I was a Nazi MEDIA: Your clothes are beautifully tailored"