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Joke of the Day

"I got a job making wallets out of elephant foreskins If you rub the wallet it turns into a suitcase."

"How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb? None, they don't change light bulbs, they accept them the way they are."

"I had a sudden, albeit extremely belated, realization about Jared from Subway His career ended the way it began: trying to get into smaller pants."

"Why can't Nietzsche use pencils? Because they're all pointless"

"Did you hear about the guy who went to the convention of legless women? He heard the place was crawling with pussy."

"Why did the 3d modeler need back surgery? He injured his spline!"

"Did you know that a chicken coop can't have more than 3 doors? If it has 4 doors, it's a sedan."

"WANTED: Someone to follow me around and whisper ""You're an adult"" every few minutes."

"Q: What part of the road is always crying? A: The breakdown lane."

"Why did the stoner put laxatives in the pot brownies? For shits and giggles."