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Joke of the Day

"My Grandad had a pet shop. Which was a stupid thing to have as a pet."

"I was wondering why the frisbee in the distance was getting bigger Then it hit me"

"Everyone should know at least how to fish... So everyone needs learn to be a master baiter."

"My superpower is to cross the road safely and get hit by a parked car."

"If we just refer to ISIS as ""Nickelback"" maybe nobody will want to join them"

"I have a voluntary version of Tourette's."

"Where do you see yourself in five years? I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

"I Don't Nap Because I Have Tentonitish I fall asleep around 2 and don't wake up till ten tonightish"

"I have recently learned that it is considered poor form to sit on Santa's lap and ask to be made a widow for Christmas... The more you know."

"My lighter has two settings: 1: Spark, spark, spark 2: No left eyebrow"