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Joke of the Day

"I saw on the news that when snorted, nutmeg becomes a mild hallucinogen. So I'm going to work today 'megged the fuck outta my mind."

"What does a guy with a big dick have for breakfast? I figured you wouldn't know"

"Bread: For when you want to wrap your food with other food, then eat it."

"What is a Canadian's favorite board game? Sorry!"

"Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my fucking cock."

"I asked my cat ""Who is your favorite President of China?"" According to her it's Mao."

"I had a welsh friend who tried counting all his lovers to me but each time, I kept falling asleep"

"What did the black man say to the white kid? Put the gun down!"

"[Opens hand sanitiser] SUbmiT YoUr SOuL tO EternAL HeLL fiRe [closes lid] wtf? [looks at label] LINDA YOU BOUGHT HAND SATANISER AGAIN"

"A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but Saran Wrap. The psychiatrist says, ""Well I can clearly see you're nuts."""