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Joke of the Day

"[Opens hand sanitiser] SUbmiT YoUr SOuL tO EternAL HeLL fiRe [closes lid] wtf? [looks at label] LINDA YOU BOUGHT HAND SATANISER AGAIN"

"What Do You Call an Epileptic in a Pile of Leaves? Russell"

"Why couldn't the t-rex clap? Because he's dead."

"My missus asked me where her Valentine's day card was. I said, ""Sorry, I had a headache."""

"Who is the world's worst suicide hotline operator? Shia Lebouf."

"What's the similarity between a marriage and a tornado? At the start there's lots of sucking and blowing but in the end you lose your house."

"The past, present, and future walks into a bar. It was tense."

"What do you call a German dust storm? A Jewish family reunion."

"A kiss makes my whole day Anal makes my hole weak"

"So many Jesus accounts...and not one is verified"