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Joke of the Day

"Why are locksmiths in Japan cooler than the rest of the world's locksmiths? Because in Japan they're rocksmiths. "

"Today my wife was on her knees before me. ...screaming: ""Don't you hide under the bed, asshole!"""

"What month was King Kong born in? Ape-ril"

"Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the television."

"How was there no jackass in a giant penis costume at the women's March? That would of been hilarious. You would never see feminists beat a dick so hard."

"I have a closet full of voodoo dolls created in the likeness of people I have seen with 11 items in the '10 items or less' checkout line."

"you know whats great about alzhemiers? nevermind i forget"

"My neighbor said his dog was impregnated by my dog Django. I said ""No way, bro."" ""The 'D' is silent"""

"What did the manager say to his new Chinese intern? How, are you?"

"I got a job at the zoo circumcising elephants the pay isn't great but the tips are enormous."