106668
Joke of the Day
"Today my wife was on her knees before me. ...screaming: ""Don't you hide under the bed, asshole!"""
Next Joke
"Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces? For the chance to gain some experience in the service."
"What did Kim Jong Un say when his father died? Looks like his Korea is over."
"What did the golden male connector said when he plugged himself into the female Sorry, i couldn't resist"
"Overheard this at Grand Canyon. ""Why do they put chicken wire around these plants? Other guy:"" To protect the chicken plants"""
"Hey! You got your chatroulette in my peanut butter."
"[under heavy sniper fire] Platoon leader: where's that sniper fire coming from? Me [crying a fair bit]: a big gun with a telescope on it"
"My kids are mad at me because I never unwrap the cheese slices in their sandwiches"
"A baby that is starting to wake up from a nap is like a solar eclipse. Whatever you do, do not look directly at it."
"Every time God closes a door, he opens a window, thereby wasting electricity on air conditioning, causing climate change and dooming us all."