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Joke of the Day

"How do you keep your dog young for longer? [Terrible OC] Keep them stored in some quality... pupperware!"

"What did Marily Monroe and Lee Harvey Oswald have in common? They both banged JFK"

"Real sentence from a press release in my inbox: ""Donald Trump lives, works, eats and employs people of all races and religions."""

"Why are they called dive bars? Because they have pool"

"What's it called if you re-evaluate your butt? In hiney-sight."

"Men might stare at your tits and ass, but women buy a latex mold of a pen*s and keep it in their drawer. Who's creepy now?"

"What does a pedophile and a turtle have in common? They both wanna get there before the hare does."

"According to the most current magazine in this doctor's office, every home in America will have a television by 1962."

"What did the lesbian lumberjill say to her girlfriend? Have I got an ax to grind with you."

"If embryos are people, ultrasounds are child pornography"