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Joke of the Day

"Thinking of getting another kitchen table just for all my mail"

"What's the difference between the Hillary Clinton and a piece of fruit? The fruit can only get so rotten."

"As I was checking into the hotel I asked, 'Is the porn channel disabled?' The girl at the desk said, 'No, you sick bastard'."

"damn girl are you my old Gamecube? because for some reason i cant turn you on anymore but we used to have alot of fun"

"Today is finally Eid! You know what I'm getting for my newborn baby? A first Eid kit!"

"The cat is heat and keeps presenting herself to the dog I'm just sitting here with my finger hovering above the record button."

"WIFE: omg Will Smith's son, Jaden, is dead ME: where'd you see that? W: Facebook M: I'm pretty sure that's a hoax W: no Facebook is real"

"Yo momma so fat, when she stepped on the scale Buzz Lightyear popped up and said ""TO INFINITY... AND BEYOND!"""

"If a letter sounds like its name... ...is it an LMNOP-uh?"

"You never get a second chance to make a first impression. Unless you work in the alzheimer's wing of a nursing home, then you get lots."