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Joke of the Day

"Halloween is the only day of the year you can ask someone ""what are you supposed to be?"" without triggering an existential crisis."

"You: ""Whale you be my Valentuna?"" Me: ""Dolphinately."""

"Food trucks: Because the problem with most grilled cheese sandwiches is you don't spend 20 minutes breathing exhaust."

"HEALTHY VIRGIN Q: What's the definition of a healthy virgin? A: ""One who has never been bed-ridden!"""

"How many Karma whores does it take to screw on a lightbulb? When this reaches 500 upvotes I'll tell you."

"BRUTUS: hail Caesar *draws knife* CEASAR: not this time *hands Brutus an Uno ""reverse"" card* B: SHIT ROMAN SENATE:*stabs Brutus to death*"

"I don't know why my Dad named me Hockey. He never calls me that, he just says ""Hey sport"""

"Why can you only drown a hipster in a tributary? Because, it isn't mainstream."

"""Girl, are you a tree? cause-"" ""no i'm not a tree"" ""..cause i want-"" ""why are you still talking i'm not a tree"" "".. i want t-"" ""not a tree"""

"I, for one, support these crazy killers dressing up like clowns. It was a lot harder to see them coming when they were dressing like cops."