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Joke of the Day

"How is evolution and a Union construction job similar? They take so long that some people don't believe they don't work."

"Gross. Now I can't eat salmonilla without thinking about eggs."

"Making fun of someone you're angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead"

"I wish I had a more acidic wit Unfortunately mine's very basic."

"Who said losing weight was difficult? ""Hello Blood Center? How much longer before I can donate another pint?"""

"I can't follow these instructions on how to apply fake eyebrows They are way over my head"

"I have daily sex Sorry, I mean, dyslexia."

"What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? The porcupine has the pricks on the outside."

"Pretty sure that ""Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory"" is the kid's version of ""Saw""."

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a hooker with dysentery? One of them shucks between fits."