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Joke of the Day
"Best part about staying up late = total absence of morning people."
Next Joke
"I hit the snooze button so many times this morning I think we might be engaged now"
"What was the ancient language Link needed a book to translate in ""A Link to the Past""? Hyruleglyphics."
"This idiot from Apple reckons that the ""Temperature, iPhone needs to cool down"" warning message has nothing to do with all my hot selfies"
"How many letters can you wear on your feet? 10 E's"
"Let me tell you a joke about a fart. nevermind. It stinks."
"Autocorrect wants to capitalize bacon, out of respect."
"Maturbating when hooked up to a heart monitor really gets the nurses running around. They never know if you are coming or going."
"*puts on white shirt* *accidentally spills coffee* *takes off shirt* *shoves shirt into coffee pot* *puts on brown shirt*"
"""Please stop misquoting me on Twitter,"" said my boss. ""It makes me sad because I am a large baby with a stupid haircut"""